Brain Battle at BP: A Short Comedy Horror Story
While Dale boringly clicks his ballpoint pen, he hears and sees a couple enter the BP Service Station. Though, this couple is like any he has encountered before.
In a run-down BP Service Station in Morton, Connecticut, smelling of outdated nacho cheese and chicken excrement, a young man named Dale leans over a check-out lane’s countertop, clicking a ballpoint pen. For a moment, he drifts off into a daydream of his high school crush. But it’s annoyingly interrupted by the ding, ding, dinging of a bell and a man and a woman walking in through the main entrance.
After they enter, his eyes become two CT Scanners, examining every inch of their bodies. Without a doubt in his mind, Dale recognizes this man and woman don’t appear as his general impoverished clientele. Additionally, his clientele doesn’t look as if they’ve been recently mauled by a pack of predatory zoo animals. The man is dressed as a company CEO with his black suit, dress pants, and shoes while the woman strikes one as a lawyer in her auburn blazer, skirt, and low heels. But amidst the ostentation of their attire, their clothes are remarkably tattered, weathered, and grimy. He also notices the two are clearly a couple and arguing, based on their excessive use of body language as they rummage through the cooler doors full of beverages as well as up and down the aisles of heart-attack snacks. Curiosity consumes Dale as he plants his chin on his knuckles as his elbows rest on the countertop. He would do anything know to what they’re arguing about.
Are you going to pick out a snack or what?
Hmmmmm, I can’t decide whether I want the Salt N’ Vinegar or the Barbeque…
They’re just chips, choose one so we can get the hell out of here!
Just chips? JUST CHIPS, CHARLES?
Yes! That’s what I said, is there an echo in here?
Do you have any idea the decision I HAD to make?
No? I have no idea what you’re trying to say. At. All.
Let me explain, let’s say I choose the Salt N' Vinegar...
Okay, Jean? Where are you going with this?
The Salt N Vinegar are flavorful, but they give me indigestion…
Not sure I needed to know that.
On the other hand, the barbeque chips are tangy and zesty, but, they also give me indigestion. Do you get it now?
Charles and Jean place their food and beverages on the check out lane’s countertop, including the bags of Salt N’ Vinegar and Barbeque chips. Dale quickly scans each item, bewilderingly glancing back and forth between the cash register’s monitor as well as their shifting expressions.
No not really, are we still talking about the chips or…
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Jean’s face turns as red as hot liquid iron, and she begins stomping one of her feet as if there’s a swarm of spiders circling her. Dale refuses to hold back his tongue.
“Hey, are you two, okay?” He asks.
Charles and Jean simultaneously turn their heads toward Dale, and he swears he sees their eyes shimmer like the insides of scallop shells.
NO!
He hears their shout resound in his head.
“Did you guys just?”
YES!
“Oh, okay, for a second there I thought I was going…” Before Dale can finish his sentence, he faints and falls to the floor, causing Charles and Jean to rapidly look back at one another.
Let’s get the hell out of here!
Good idea, Charles! We can finish this conversation in the car!
Awe, but do we have to?
Jean doesn’t respond. They act as fast as quicksters, quickly grabbing their food and beverages and knocking over a couple of candy racks in the process. As Dale gets up off the floor like a looney toon character who has just been smashed in the head by an anvil, he can hear distant police sirens over the ding, ding, dinging of the main entrance’s bell.